Have you noticed how easy it is to get drawn into a negative relationship? For you to have gotten involved in the first place, it probably started out seemingly perfect. Unfortunately, sometimes it seems as though things change overnight. If that has happened to you, it’s time for you to make a decision. Ask yourself the following question: do the positive attributes outweigh the negative ones in your current relationship?
If you decide to end the relationship and are like most women, you’ll be unhappy and drained emotionally after the split. And, you probably won’t be too optimistic about your next relationship being any better than the last.
It can be difficult getting back into the dating scene after a break up. However, without being open to new opportunities, you severely limit the likelihood of reaching the level of happiness you seek in a relationship.
Your best bet is to educate yourself on how to recognize the warning signs so you won’t make another mistake. Granted, this is not a fail-proof plan! However, there are strategies you can learn that will greatly increase your chances of finding a good man who is capable of having a lasting intimate relationship.
Take These Steps to Avoid Another Negative Relationship:
Avoid going back.
Perhaps you’re feeling very lonely and you begin to rationalize that maybe this person can change and feel the urge to fall back into the old relationship you decided to end. Deep down you know he’s not right for you, yet crawling back to him seems better than the loneliness you are feeling. My advice is to avoid making this mistake. You know in your heart that the odds of him changing are nearly non-existent. Keep yourself open so that when “the one” for you shows up, you will be available for him.
Take your time getting to know a new love interest.
Before getting too serious, focus on getting to know him first. Don’t have a heavy conversation on your first date or two, (that may scare him away) but do have some of those heavy conversations before moving to the next level in your relationship. It’s really important to have the same values in life. It also helps to have some common interests. If you notice signs of incompatibility or other red flags, slow down and discuss your misgivings with this man. Depending upon his reaction, you can decide whether to work through your concerns or to rapidly move on.
Inquire about a perspective partner’s history.
In addition to asking about his history, I strongly recommend that you do a background check on him to discover any disturbing facts in his past. If you learn this person has a history of violence or intense addiction, it is in your best interest to avoid him. If, for any reason, you choose to pursue a relationship with him, be sure to set the ground rules in the beginning and proceed with extreme caution.
Avoid controlling and manipulative men.
If you find that your perspective partner usually has a selfish motive for his actions, or that you frequently feel he is manipulating you, it will have a detrimental effect on your relationship. You will feel emotionally and physically drained. It simply isn’t worth it. You want a man who values you and your choices.
Make a list of pros and cons.
Draw a line down the center of a sheet of paper. Put the heading “Pros” on the left and “Cons” on the right. Take time to list the qualities you see in this person. Please refrain from rating superficial characteristics like his looks. Personality is way more important because as you age it’s a given that looks will change. Next, list the pros and cons of entering into a serious relationship with him. Now, evaluate this revealing list. Are there more entries on the “Pros” side or the “Cons” side?
It Is Possible to Have the Relationship You Deserve!
It is a fact of life that relationships can be hard to maintain. Don’t let previous failed relationships have an impact on your desire for a future loving relationship. You will hear women say that “all the good men are taken.” Well, considering the fact that there are more than six billion earthly inhabitants, I can’t help but be optimistic enough to believe that there are at least a few good ones left.
Perform your “due diligence” before entering into a serious relationship and you will greatly improve your chances of finding one of the good ones. When you do, be sure to hold up your end of the bargain and take action to make it the positive, nurturing relationship you have been dreaming about!