What would you think if I told you a loving, healthy relationship should be a disciplined relationship? It may even sound strange to think of love in conjunction with discipline. You might believe that discipline isn’t possible where passion is involved, or that discipline would make for a lackluster relationship. However, in a relationship where there is true love, discipline is necessary to do what is in the best interest of the relationship. What it boils down to is the ability to control behavior. To put it another way, it could be called willpower. Self-discipline can be a true relationship saver.
Self-discipline is required for success in every aspect of life. Students and employees must arrive on time. Meals must be prepared, the lawn cared for and the house cleaned. If we realize the importance of applying self-discipline in these areas, shouldn’t we be willing to apply it to one of the most important areas of our life… our most intimate relationship?
I don’t want you to misinterpret what I’m saying here. I don’t want you to read this and jump to the conclusion that you are responsible for your partner’s happiness. You are not responsible for his happiness… that’s something he is solely responsible for. I’m simply wanting to point out that it is important to give consideration to him and his feelings before making important decisions and taking action.
Maintaining loving relationships with your partner, parents, and children can be difficult, but it is important to make them a top priority. Doing this can cause us to feel that we are being spread too thin, just as work, household chores and other obligations can have the same effect.
For the Sake of Your Relationship, Learn to Prioritize Your Time
To maintain that close bond with your partner will require that you prioritize the things you attend to. If relationships other than your significant other demand attention, your creative energy may be depleted when it comes to the one you love the most. It is easy to prioritize your work duties and household chores, but difficult when it comes to doing the same thing in relationships. In order for your relationship to grow and flourish, you will find it necessary to learn how to do this with your relationships as well.
Practice self discipline by learning to say no to people who would like to use your energy for their selfish purposes is critical. Develop the assertiveness necessary to say “no” and avoid people who cause you to feel drained and seem to constantly need your help or who want to go out for a drink after work. It is easy to exceed one’s energy reserve and it can harm your relationship and doesn’t do anything beneficial for you.
How to Enhance Your Relationship
When you view your relationship as one with fun in it, it’s easy to enjoy and nurture it. Take time to remember the pleasant and fun times in your relationship and, if you have a good guy, forget about the not so pleasant ones. Make dates with your partner and anticipate the evening with enthusiasm for the time you will spend with your partner, causing him to feel like he is special to you. This anticipation is a great motivator and can be energizing as well. Try making a list of qualities in your partner and pleasant memories of things done in the past that elicit positive feelings toward your partner and focus on these. This idea certainly qualifies as a relationship saver, but it does require a little time, energy and focus on your part.
Consider the Effects of Your Actions on the Relationship
It is, also, vitally important to listen to your own feelings and respect them. Listen to your inner voice. Then weigh the effect your feelings and desires have on certain aspects of your life. Determine where your resistance is low and do whatever is needed to avoid situations where you will be tempted to do something that is not in your best interest or the best interest of your relationship. It would be wise to learn to say no to yourself as well as others in order to avoid a future battle with yourself.
On the other hand, determine your personal strengths and what motivates and energizes you. Put these to good use to improve the quality of your relationship. It is important for you to take responsibility for your own happiness. Personal fulfillment and true happiness is an inside job and is not the responsibility of your partner. Relying on your partner for happiness and a feeling of being fulfilled is childish and selfish. True love is about giving love as well as receiving it.
Remember that living up to your true potential involves self-discipline. Are you proud of your values and actions? Take an honest look at yourself when you ask yourself that question. Do not place any blame on anyone else for what you do.
If you are disappointed in yourself, this will inevitably lead to disappointment in your romantic relationship. You are human and will never be immune to temptation. But, if you give in to temptation for the sake of fleeting excitement, you will eventually destroy your relationship with your partner, not build a better one.