Why Men Lie: The Top 5 Reasons

why men lie 300x199 Why Men Lie: The Top 5 Reasons It is a fact of life that both men and women lie. However, research clearly shows that men are much more likely to deliberately deceive women than women are to deceive men.  As a matter of fact, one study suggests that men lie nearly six times more frequently than women.

One study on the topic of deception was conducted by several researchers at both the University of Virginia and the University of Missouri—Columbia and was published in the Psychological Bulletin Volume 129 in 2003. It helps to shed some light on why men lie. This report stated:

“We define deception as a deliberate attempt to mislead others. Falsehoods communicated by people who are mistaken or self-deceived are not lies, but literal truths designed to mislead are lies.”   You can read the full bulletin here.

So, if I am interpreting this correctly, men who are self-deceived are not guilty of lying because they have accepted the lie as their truth.

And because they believe what they are telling you is true, they are not deliberately trying to mislead you. This is particularly disturbing to me because I have known men who were totally self-deceived, to the point that they adamantly believed what they said was true, even though it wasn’t. I don’t know about you, but I really want to stay away from men who fall into this category.

Here Are The Top 5 Reasons Why Men Lie to Women:

1) A Man Will Lie to Cover Up Mistakes He Has Made

When a man does something that he believes is wrong he will feel shame because he has not been able to live up to his own personal standard. When he believes that women he becomes involved with will think what he has done is wrong, the easiest thing to do may be to lie in order to cover up what he has done and prevent having a woman from judging him harshly. They feel that telling the truth is too risky, especially in the beginning of a relationship. As the relationship matures and trust builds, he may feel safe enough to share what he has been lying about.

If you know your man has not been truthful about mistakes he has made in the past and he continues to lie about them, then let this be a warning that lying may be a way of life with him. Do you want to plan your future with someone who doesn’t trust you enough to tell you the truth?

2) A Man Will Lie to Keep From Hurting Your Feelings

These lies can include anything, but the most common are 1) you look good in that dress, skirt, those pants, etc.; 2) I love your kids; 3) I like your parents; 4) I like your friends; 5) you are a good cook; 6) you are the best lover I’ve ever had; and 7) the most hurtful has to be “I love you” when he doesn’t.

3) A Man Will Lie Because of His Own Insecurity

If a man feels that he isn’t good enough for you, he may lie about himself in order to impress you.  I can only speak for myself, but I want a man who is secure enough about himself that he believes I will still want to be with him even if he reveals the truth about who he truly is.

4) A Man Will Lie When He Feels Threatened

Women usually want more “together” time than men. If you make demands on him that he isn’t willing to meet, he will lie to you in order to create distance from you.

Men love their freedom. I’m not talking about the freedom to be with other women. I’m talking about their need to be in control of their time. When a relationship is balanced, the man will choose to spend the time he feels is appropriate for him with his partner. However, he wants freedom to do other things that are important to him, whether it’s work, sports, or spending time with his male friends.

If you are looking to your man to make you happy, you are looking to the wrong person. I sincerely believe that happiness is something that you have to create for yourself and do it independent of the actions of anyone else.

5) A Man Will Lie For Sex

Unless you are a teenager, you have probably heard this lie from a guy: “I love you.” Sometimes this is a premeditated lie based on his intent of having his way with you. However, sometimes if you are with a guy and you start making out, things may get heated and in a moment of passion he may tell you that he loves you and mean it in the moment the words come out of his mouth.  In this type of situation, those words will rarely mean anything to him later.

How would your life and your relationships change if you knew how to tell if your man is lying to you? There may be profound changes. What if you were able to read his mind? You might want to read our review of a program that we believe can deliver these to you.

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3 Responses to Why Men Lie: The Top 5 Reasons

  1. Raymond says:

    A man will lie sometimes due to the pressure of life. We all want to be a good man, but we all do not want to hurt our wives, girlfriends, parents, etc. In some cases, we lie just because do want them unhappy.

  2. Lynn says:

    Hi Raymond, Thanks for your comment. Yes, I understand your point. However, it seems that almost always the lie will surface in time. This compounds the situation, making it worse that if the truth had been told from the beginning. And, the lies that aren’t discovered sometimes cause guilt and shame that take their toll on the one who has told the lie.

    Just my thoughts.

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